[ a bitter taste floods their Communion, like swallowing poison. ]

I'm not an idiot. I know everyone else will blame me. [ it's resigned, rather than angry. she's long since accepted the reality of the world. there might be anger somewhere in the dark, tangled knot of feelings, but it hardly seems possible to separate the threads enough to distinguish. ] I should have been better, I should have fought instead of being a shameless coward. I don't have any right to complain, because I don't have a choice in the matter, so I'm just a stupid child throwing a tantrum...

[ she really tries not to behave this way. she does. it doesn't do her any good to speak her mind; the way that she is, any "honesty" she expresses will only ever be regarded as unseemly, repulsive, pathetic. ever since she came back from the Tree, though, something has ruptured, and her ugly insides bleed out.

So much for making Dimitri a lifeline. You've ruined your pretty image, Ruby. ]

Everyone in Springstar certainly thinks so. I've seen the way they look at me now.

[ there's a sense of ad nauseam, though – she isn't surprised that it's come to this. ]