![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
DETAILED INFO.
THE LARK OF SISTINE
If you think of me as the most transparent and insignificant person, then I have hope that this will work out.
physical information
psychological information
meta & narrative
APPEARANCE
Her hair was a cascade of spiralling gold threads. Her eyes were shining blue lakes.
Her supple cheeks and tender lips didn't resemble my original body in the slightest.
The only thing remotely similar between my two bodies was long hair and a small figure.
Her supple cheeks and tender lips didn't resemble my original body in the slightest.
The only thing remotely similar between my two bodies was long hair and a small figure.
When dressed in her usual attire of extravagant and expensive dresses, Rudbeckia is a young lady fittingly referred to as Romagna's great beauty — long, silky, golden-blonde hair that cascades down her back in waves, smooth and unblemished pale skin, bright blue eyes with long dark lashes. She's petite in both height and figure, the type of body one might associate with a ballerina. Everything about her suggests an aristocrat who takes painstaking care of her appearance. Typically, she also perfects her natural features with cosmetics, particularly foundation and blush.
Beneath her gowns, however, Ruby's slender frame is overly thin and bony in the way of a starving stray. Her wrists and ankles are delicate with what seems to be a bird-like fragility. If she's without cosmetics, her face often appears pale and wan.
Notably, there is a great deal of scarring on her back and thighs. For her back, it's particularly heavy on her right shoulder blade, where the scars are long, deep gouges; in other places, many of them are faint and healed over. For her thighs, the undersides are marked with many scars in long, thin, horizontal lines. She also has a particularly faint scar on the knuckle of her right index finger, better identified as Russell's sign; however, this is difficult to identify if one isn't looking for it.
Beneath her gowns, however, Ruby's slender frame is overly thin and bony in the way of a starving stray. Her wrists and ankles are delicate with what seems to be a bird-like fragility. If she's without cosmetics, her face often appears pale and wan.
Notably, there is a great deal of scarring on her back and thighs. For her back, it's particularly heavy on her right shoulder blade, where the scars are long, deep gouges; in other places, many of them are faint and healed over. For her thighs, the undersides are marked with many scars in long, thin, horizontal lines. She also has a particularly faint scar on the knuckle of her right index finger, better identified as Russell's sign; however, this is difficult to identify if one isn't looking for it.
VOICE & SPEECH
Ruby's standard speaking voice is bright and clear as a bell, in an upper register that is better identified as "light" rather than "high-pitched" as she speaks from the chest and lacks any nasal or breathy qualities. Her voice has a warm, sweet timbre that suits someone referred to as the Lark of Sistine.
When using English, she speaks with an aristocratic South England pronunciation. In any language, she has a slight Italian accent — in particular, she uses a mild alveolar trill (rolled "r" sound) and often does not pronounce the vowel sound əʊ, as in e.g. "goat", replacing it with a short monophthong vowel sound instead. If she's speaking faster or carelessly, her "h" sounds sometimes become less exhaled and may be dropped entirely.
Her speaking patterns are an eclectic mix; she's capable of formal dialogue suitable for high society when a situation calls for it but often appends her sentences with a casual modifier. When relaxed, she speaks with a fairly quick, lilting rhythm, and tends to falter more as she gets nervous, stammering or trailing off. She also hedges quite a bit and avoids statements of certainty, e.g. it's more likely for her to say "not really" than an outright "no." Overall, you get the impression that she's speaking quite freely and that she isn't the sort of person to think too hard or weigh her words before she speaks.
As a singer, Rudbeckia is a light lyric soprano with a natural talent and some proper training, though she isn't operatically trained.
When using English, she speaks with an aristocratic South England pronunciation. In any language, she has a slight Italian accent — in particular, she uses a mild alveolar trill (rolled "r" sound) and often does not pronounce the vowel sound əʊ, as in e.g. "goat", replacing it with a short monophthong vowel sound instead. If she's speaking faster or carelessly, her "h" sounds sometimes become less exhaled and may be dropped entirely.
Her speaking patterns are an eclectic mix; she's capable of formal dialogue suitable for high society when a situation calls for it but often appends her sentences with a casual modifier. When relaxed, she speaks with a fairly quick, lilting rhythm, and tends to falter more as she gets nervous, stammering or trailing off. She also hedges quite a bit and avoids statements of certainty, e.g. it's more likely for her to say "not really" than an outright "no." Overall, you get the impression that she's speaking quite freely and that she isn't the sort of person to think too hard or weigh her words before she speaks.
As a singer, Rudbeckia is a light lyric soprano with a natural talent and some proper training, though she isn't operatically trained.
SCENT
Perfumes and bath oils! Her tastes lean towards bright or sweet-smelling scents anywhere in the general area of fresh to floral on the wheel of fragrance profiles, with a preference for light and airy over complex or heavy; her favourite perfume notes are jasmine, violet, bergamot and other citrus, and honeysuckle.
She also tends to have the smell of mint on her breath, as she often eats mints to mask her anorexia.
She also tends to have the smell of mint on her breath, as she often eats mints to mask her anorexia.
FASHION
The best description of Rudbeckia's default fashion is probably "historical fantasy renaissance." It's vaguely reminiscent of Italian renaissance fashion in some ways, but definitely wouldn't hold up to the scrutiny of an actual historian; there are elements of various other historical fashions and cultures, including things like Rococo and Victorian, added up to create a general aesthetic of fancy historical dress. If you Google "royal renaissance dress" that's about the idea of it.
Outside of her wardrobe from home, she tends towards similar styles: long, flowy skirts; modest lolita dresses; ruffles and bows, ribbon and lace. She doesn't stick to any particular colours, though she does particularly like pale shades; it's very unusual to see her in anything monochrome, black, or vibrant and saturated — she might wear a dark red skirt, but you're probably not going to catch her in a dress that's entirely bright red. There's generally something youthful or innocent about her outfits, pretty in a way that's almost doll-like, and she avoids looks that might come off as mature or striking. Clothes are really hard to describe I'll link a collection of wardrobe visuals later!!
Her hairstyle varies, though from day-to-day she's likely to either leave it down in its usual waves, gather it in a sensible braid, or put it up in a simple high ponytail. For fancier occasions, she'll rope someone into helping her with a more complicated hairstyle. When it comes to accessories: in everyday clothing, her only jewellery would likely be a pair of hanging earrings; in fancier dress, she adds jewelled earrings and an expensive necklace or choker piece. She rarely wears hairpieces, but hats and bonnets might make an appearance during any outdoor events.
Outside of her wardrobe from home, she tends towards similar styles: long, flowy skirts; modest lolita dresses; ruffles and bows, ribbon and lace. She doesn't stick to any particular colours, though she does particularly like pale shades; it's very unusual to see her in anything monochrome, black, or vibrant and saturated — she might wear a dark red skirt, but you're probably not going to catch her in a dress that's entirely bright red. There's generally something youthful or innocent about her outfits, pretty in a way that's almost doll-like, and she avoids looks that might come off as mature or striking. Clothes are really hard to describe I'll link a collection of wardrobe visuals later!!
Her hairstyle varies, though from day-to-day she's likely to either leave it down in its usual waves, gather it in a sensible braid, or put it up in a simple high ponytail. For fancier occasions, she'll rope someone into helping her with a more complicated hairstyle. When it comes to accessories: in everyday clothing, her only jewellery would likely be a pair of hanging earrings; in fancier dress, she adds jewelled earrings and an expensive necklace or choker piece. She rarely wears hairpieces, but hats and bonnets might make an appearance during any outdoor events.
MAGICAL
Where Rudbeckia is from, everyone possesses a divine "core" that determines whether they're capable of using holy magic. Ruby's is extremely weak. This results in her having an incompatibility with holy or spiritual power; its effects manifest as a chronic illness and causes her intense pain, nosebleeds, fatigue, and fainting spells. The stronger the presence of holy power around her, the more frequent and severe the effects. Characters who can sense things like the magic present in a person's body might be able to identify that holy power causes her harm when it's affecting her.
Ruby has the ability to be understood by monsters – in canon, these are "demonic beasts" and cover a range of creatures like dragons, dullahan, and gargoyles, so you can stretch that to mean just about anything that could be called a monster. Her words are as clear to these monsters as they would be to a human. While she can't understand their speech directly, she has an empathic connection to them in return. Monsters also feel a natural affinity with her, recognising her as though she's kin. Many are drawn to her and inclined to be affectionate towards her because of this, but it's not the same for every monster.
As a transmigrator, her soul and body do not match and this can be recognised by anyone who has the ability to sense souls in any detail. The body she inhabits belongs to another soul that is absent.
Lastly, characters with omniscience, a particular affinity for curses, or even more so, characters who have any perception of meta elements – such as power fantasy protagonists that can view others' stats and status windows – may find that she pings as somehow cursed. The specifics are vague, but seem cyclical in nature, perpetually doomed by a fate she can't alter. For more information on this, see below!
Ruby has the ability to be understood by monsters – in canon, these are "demonic beasts" and cover a range of creatures like dragons, dullahan, and gargoyles, so you can stretch that to mean just about anything that could be called a monster. Her words are as clear to these monsters as they would be to a human. While she can't understand their speech directly, she has an empathic connection to them in return. Monsters also feel a natural affinity with her, recognising her as though she's kin. Many are drawn to her and inclined to be affectionate towards her because of this, but it's not the same for every monster.
As a transmigrator, her soul and body do not match and this can be recognised by anyone who has the ability to sense souls in any detail. The body she inhabits belongs to another soul that is absent.
Lastly, characters with omniscience, a particular affinity for curses, or even more so, characters who have any perception of meta elements – such as power fantasy protagonists that can view others' stats and status windows – may find that she pings as somehow cursed. The specifics are vague, but seem cyclical in nature, perpetually doomed by a fate she can't alter. For more information on this, see below!
HEALTH
It's bad.
Rudbeckia is someone with naturally poor health, prone to illness and fatigue. The body she inhabits died of sickness prior to her transmigration, and she's never fully recovered; in addition to that, the effects of her anorexia and the constant stress of holy magic on her mean that her wellbeing is always precarious. An ordinary cold can result in nosebleeds, fever, and fainting spells. Menstruation causes her debilitating pain.
In terms of fitness, she's very frail, with terrible stamina and absolutely no strength to speak of. She's easily injured and bruises quickly, but her endurance for pain is shockingly high.
Rudbeckia is someone with naturally poor health, prone to illness and fatigue. The body she inhabits died of sickness prior to her transmigration, and she's never fully recovered; in addition to that, the effects of her anorexia and the constant stress of holy magic on her mean that her wellbeing is always precarious. An ordinary cold can result in nosebleeds, fever, and fainting spells. Menstruation causes her debilitating pain.
In terms of fitness, she's very frail, with terrible stamina and absolutely no strength to speak of. She's easily injured and bruises quickly, but her endurance for pain is shockingly high.
DEMEANOUR
The general impression one gets of Rudbeckia is that of a friendly and sweet young lady who is, perhaps, a bit of an airhead. She'll introduce herself as a princess, and that would explain a lot about her demeanour—her naïvete, guileless innocence, and occasional cluelessness speak of a sheltered life without hardship. She's very emotive and open, with a bright and chirpy personality, quick to smile in a broad, beaming way that is more than mere courtesy. She laughs and cries easily, and she rarely seems to be self-conscious of her feelings or her words.
She's quite an animated person, the type to talk with her hands, but she moves with a certain poise and grace due to her upbringing as an aristocrat. The evidence of her education is there in the way she sits, and walks, and even gestures.
Though it won't stand out in a first meeting, over time it may become apparent that Ruby is someone who doesn't like to cause trouble. While she may pout, she almost never gets truly angry under any circumstances. She doesn't ask prying questions, and doesn't pursue difficult topics of conversation. When she's told to back off, then barring special circumstances, she'll do so immediately without protest. If she's insulted, she responds obliviously; when she's laughed at, she laughs along. Judging by the rest of her personality, it would seem a safe assumption that she genuinely misses the point and that she's perfectly fine with shrugging off what she doesn't understand. She generally won't argue with anybody, even in her own defence, and she's quick to apologise for her flaws whether she's at fault or not.
She's quite an animated person, the type to talk with her hands, but she moves with a certain poise and grace due to her upbringing as an aristocrat. The evidence of her education is there in the way she sits, and walks, and even gestures.
Though it won't stand out in a first meeting, over time it may become apparent that Ruby is someone who doesn't like to cause trouble. While she may pout, she almost never gets truly angry under any circumstances. She doesn't ask prying questions, and doesn't pursue difficult topics of conversation. When she's told to back off, then barring special circumstances, she'll do so immediately without protest. If she's insulted, she responds obliviously; when she's laughed at, she laughs along. Judging by the rest of her personality, it would seem a safe assumption that she genuinely misses the point and that she's perfectly fine with shrugging off what she doesn't understand. She generally won't argue with anybody, even in her own defence, and she's quick to apologise for her flaws whether she's at fault or not.
She didn't seem to be aware of it, but her light blue eyes would examine everything carefully before each step she took.
[...] Her skinny body that was always hidden beneath expensive dresses; the scar on her back; her bright eyes, as blue as the clear sky, always looking around... She always smiled even when it seemed that she was about to break down into tears.
She was a woman who trembled like a rabbit, yet kept grinning like a fool.
[...] Her skinny body that was always hidden beneath expensive dresses; the scar on her back; her bright eyes, as blue as the clear sky, always looking around... She always smiled even when it seemed that she was about to break down into tears.
She was a woman who trembled like a rabbit, yet kept grinning like a fool.
The first thing a more observant person will notice is that Rudbeckia is far more aware of her surroundings than she pretends. She has a hypervigilance about her that calls to mind a prey animal, someone who constantly feels under threat; she pays particularly close attention to other people's expressions and body language, and she evaluates them with a wary regard. Her eyes are constantly darting around, and she almost never actually relaxes even for a moment. Still, she's capable of playing the part of the airheaded princess even when there is clearly fear in her eyes—absolutely nothing will cause her to break character.
- Ruby is quick to flinch, but never retreats from a situation. Sometimes it's a freeze response—sometimes she is deliberately holding her ground despite what she perceives as danger specifically because trying to run away will only result in harsher punishment.
- Her motions often seem deliberate & at times there's a tension or desperation about the way she plays dumb
- Something about how Iske compares her to a child not for her immaturity but for the sense of helplessness about her
- Ruby is quick to flinch, but never retreats from a situation. Sometimes it's a freeze response—sometimes she is deliberately holding her ground despite what she perceives as danger specifically because trying to run away will only result in harsher punishment.
- Her motions often seem deliberate & at times there's a tension or desperation about the way she plays dumb
- Something about how Iske compares her to a child not for her immaturity but for the sense of helplessness about her
SOCIAL (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)
how she typically reacts to different people & situations
- personal space calibration, smth abt how she tries to be helpful
MENTALITY
Because I was a twisted human being.
Even so, since no one would believe me and I couldn't believe in anyone, it was better to be cautious than to be foolishly trusting and end up betrayed.
I was someone that deceived everyone to live, anyway.
Even so, since no one would believe me and I couldn't believe in anyone, it was better to be cautious than to be foolishly trusting and end up betrayed.
I was someone that deceived everyone to live, anyway.
Beneath the performances she puts on for others, the real Rudbeckia is someone very different. She has a deeply cynical and defeatist outlook on the world. It isn't that she thinks the entire world is a terrible place, and that people are all cruel, and that love and dreams and happy endings don't exist. She's not a misanthrope. She knows there are good things in the world. But none of them are for her.
[to add: suffering, self-loathing, helplessness]
[to add: suffering, self-loathing, helplessness]
Come on, wake up. You have to be careful.
Don't make mistakes.
You know how quickly kindness can turn into violence.
Don't make mistakes.
You know how quickly kindness can turn into violence.
[to add:fear and distrust]
[to add: motivation to survive - that she's never even had the freedom to think about a future, even tho she struggles so hard to survive she has no reason to live because she's still stuck in survival mode, etc.]
And without that desperate survival instinct, Ruby sinks into a deep despair. At her worst point, she abandons everything she's relied on to keep her safe because she simply no longer cares whether she lives or dies. She becomes apathetic and cruel, and vents her frustrations on those around her with mockery and cutting remarks, embodying the "villainess" Rudbeckia de Borgia whose place she took. This is not Ruby removing her mask, only replacing it with another; dissociated from her body and emotions, she feels that she is nothing more than a monster, an undead soul possessing a corpse. She plays the role of the witch, simply awaiting the end of her miserable life.
The only way Ruby's mask becomes no longer necessary is for her to feel that she is really, truly safe, with someone who she can trust to protect her from anything and never leave her side. If she is at last able to set aside her survival mechanisms, Ruby is almost unrecognisable. She's a deeply private person, maintaining a courteous demeanour in public, free of the fawning and false cheer. She is direct with her words, sharp-tongued where needed, and doesn't hesitate to turn cold when displeased. Only in close company of loved ones, she is allowed to be her most authentic and "unlovable" self: quiet, stubborn, sarcastic, at times sullen or irritable, and prone to bickering. But affectionate, all the same, and with a deep love in her heart.
Her love is never freely given, though. She's the type to give her heart in its entirety to whoever puts in the effort to uncover it; there is only room enough for a rare few people, at the absolute most. She isn't callous or cruel. There's always some kindness she holds for children and animals, and she can maintain a very small circle of friends, but her true nature just isn't compassionate or sociable. When it comes down to it, the rest of the world can burn, as far as Ruby cares – a reality without the person she loves isn't one that would deserve to exist.
[to add: motivation to survive - that she's never even had the freedom to think about a future, even tho she struggles so hard to survive she has no reason to live because she's still stuck in survival mode, etc.]
And without that desperate survival instinct, Ruby sinks into a deep despair. At her worst point, she abandons everything she's relied on to keep her safe because she simply no longer cares whether she lives or dies. She becomes apathetic and cruel, and vents her frustrations on those around her with mockery and cutting remarks, embodying the "villainess" Rudbeckia de Borgia whose place she took. This is not Ruby removing her mask, only replacing it with another; dissociated from her body and emotions, she feels that she is nothing more than a monster, an undead soul possessing a corpse. She plays the role of the witch, simply awaiting the end of her miserable life.
The only way Ruby's mask becomes no longer necessary is for her to feel that she is really, truly safe, with someone who she can trust to protect her from anything and never leave her side. If she is at last able to set aside her survival mechanisms, Ruby is almost unrecognisable. She's a deeply private person, maintaining a courteous demeanour in public, free of the fawning and false cheer. She is direct with her words, sharp-tongued where needed, and doesn't hesitate to turn cold when displeased. Only in close company of loved ones, she is allowed to be her most authentic and "unlovable" self: quiet, stubborn, sarcastic, at times sullen or irritable, and prone to bickering. But affectionate, all the same, and with a deep love in her heart.
Her love is never freely given, though. She's the type to give her heart in its entirety to whoever puts in the effort to uncover it; there is only room enough for a rare few people, at the absolute most. She isn't callous or cruel. There's always some kindness she holds for children and animals, and she can maintain a very small circle of friends, but her true nature just isn't compassionate or sociable. When it comes down to it, the rest of the world can burn, as far as Ruby cares – a reality without the person she loves isn't one that would deserve to exist.
FEARS (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)
everything
TRIGGERS (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)
these are specifically things that will immediately get an INTENSE reaction from her
- any unclear, intimidating behaviour from men
- threats
- whips
- turtles
- any unclear, intimidating behaviour from men
- threats
- whips
- turtles
In canon, Rudbeckia is very aware of her existence as part of a narrative, not in a comedic Deadpool-esque sense but as a character trapped in a tragedy she cannot fight. She views the world around her through these lenses: at first, she is Bluebeard's wife, her life hanging precariously in the balance, doomed to die at her husband's hand; once she falls in love, her husband is the knight in shining armour, and she is merely a witch disguised as a princess, so their ending will never be a happy one.
She's also an unreliable narrator, and her perception of others is severely skewed by her own trauma. Often, she'll see a character as behaving far more threatening than they actually are, like a child seeing monsters in shadows. Just to really hammer the point home, the manhwa often depicts her husband Iske in her eyes as seething with rage or even murderous where we the audience know he has no such intent. This is to say: if a thread with Ruby describes another character's behaviour in a way that doesn't quite seem right, this isn't me godmodding anyone. It's just how she sees things.
Ruby genuinely believes that she is cursed to a cycle of endless suffering. Her second life parallels her first with eerie similarity, and despite the horror of it all, she is fully prepared to go through that same Hell over and over again just to keep living, even if it's impossible for her to ever be happy. Because of the meta aspects of her character and narrative, I tend to play this as a literal narrative curse in RP. By the nature of RP, she is, after all, doomed to repeat her life and suffering. I find it a compelling angle to her genuine helplessness, magnified into a tragedy she truly has no control over but continues to endure nonetheless.
In practise, this tends to be something that mostly remains internal. It doesn't impact gameplay in any way, just the direction I steer her character arcs and CR development – her narrative, basically. However, I've had fun previously toying with a more textual awareness of the existence of her "curse" with other characters whose canons come with meta elements, like the webnovels A Practical Guide to Evil and Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint. My fourth-walling permissions apply here: this isn't the "your whole existence is fictional" sort of meta, but along the lines of fate and predetermination, just with a meta twist between characters who view the world in terms of tropes and stories.
The main influence this has on my decisions is that Ruby is incapable of escaping her tragedy by her own efforts. I don't have any interest in playing arcs where she becomes self-sufficient and an independent capable girlboss. In both games and PSLs, I play her as someone who can only be truly saved by love – whether platonic or romantic – that truly accepts who she is without condemnation. Ruby is not someone who can ever be saved by inspiration alone, or by indirect and half-hearted means; it has to be someone who is willing to wade through the muck and pull her out with their own hands, even if she is weak and limp and it is difficult.
She's also an unreliable narrator, and her perception of others is severely skewed by her own trauma. Often, she'll see a character as behaving far more threatening than they actually are, like a child seeing monsters in shadows. Just to really hammer the point home, the manhwa often depicts her husband Iske in her eyes as seething with rage or even murderous where we the audience know he has no such intent. This is to say: if a thread with Ruby describes another character's behaviour in a way that doesn't quite seem right, this isn't me godmodding anyone. It's just how she sees things.
Since I was born, I've wanted to survive in a world that told me that I didn't deserve to live.
I wanted to survive until the end, even if the whole world died.
And if I die again, then I want to live in another world shackled by the same fate.
I wanted to survive until the end, even if the whole world died.
And if I die again, then I want to live in another world shackled by the same fate.
Ruby genuinely believes that she is cursed to a cycle of endless suffering. Her second life parallels her first with eerie similarity, and despite the horror of it all, she is fully prepared to go through that same Hell over and over again just to keep living, even if it's impossible for her to ever be happy. Because of the meta aspects of her character and narrative, I tend to play this as a literal narrative curse in RP. By the nature of RP, she is, after all, doomed to repeat her life and suffering. I find it a compelling angle to her genuine helplessness, magnified into a tragedy she truly has no control over but continues to endure nonetheless.
In practise, this tends to be something that mostly remains internal. It doesn't impact gameplay in any way, just the direction I steer her character arcs and CR development – her narrative, basically. However, I've had fun previously toying with a more textual awareness of the existence of her "curse" with other characters whose canons come with meta elements, like the webnovels A Practical Guide to Evil and Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint. My fourth-walling permissions apply here: this isn't the "your whole existence is fictional" sort of meta, but along the lines of fate and predetermination, just with a meta twist between characters who view the world in terms of tropes and stories.
The main influence this has on my decisions is that Ruby is incapable of escaping her tragedy by her own efforts. I don't have any interest in playing arcs where she becomes self-sufficient and an independent capable girlboss. In both games and PSLs, I play her as someone who can only be truly saved by love – whether platonic or romantic – that truly accepts who she is without condemnation. Ruby is not someone who can ever be saved by inspiration alone, or by indirect and half-hearted means; it has to be someone who is willing to wade through the muck and pull her out with their own hands, even if she is weak and limp and it is difficult.
code. tessisamess