[ there's a startled squawk out of Rudbeckia as he scoops her up, but she seems to be somewhat accustomed to getting manhandled like this: she doesn't struggle or jerk away, gone pliant and leaning into Gen with what must be either trust that he will support her or resignation to whatever happens. the bag is retrieved from the table without protest, and she clutches it to herself with both hands, careful of the objects inside. even if he dropped her, she would have to protect this above all else.
it doesn't sit well with her that Gen isn't asking anything. of course, it makes sense that he wouldn't – she's sure that he doesn't particularly care about her wellbeing, and he certainly has no reason to be curious. she only worries that it will be an annoyance. because she did lie to him, and she's inconvenienced him. people have hated her for far less. to be honest, it shouldn't really matter, but... even so. even so, hadn't she already realised it? however foolish it is of her to feel this way, it does matter to her. hasn't she already accepted that she's going to hold onto Gen for as long as she can until he kicks her off the ledge himself? even if it doesn't make sense, even if it's not for her survival, even if she is only ever clinging to his sleeve like a child.
somehow, she has to explain herself to him. not to be forgiven, but at least so that she doesn't come off as arrogant. the silence stretches out a long way before Ruby is finally able to draw a breath and speak— ]
... I don't know what it is either. I just get sick for a little while, once or twice a year... [ no more details of the nature of her illness are necessary; Gen wouldn't be interested, anyway. Ruby leans her head against his collarbone, her dark expression safely tucked away beneath his sight. ] But when Father called a doctor for me, they said there was nothing wrong.
[ she had been fortunate, in Britannia, to catch a "real" sickness at the same time as her chronic pain. that's the only reason the Omertas' doctor bothered to treat her, she has no doubt. the next time, it would not have been so kindly received. ]
no subject
it doesn't sit well with her that Gen isn't asking anything. of course, it makes sense that he wouldn't – she's sure that he doesn't particularly care about her wellbeing, and he certainly has no reason to be curious. she only worries that it will be an annoyance. because she did lie to him, and she's inconvenienced him. people have hated her for far less. to be honest, it shouldn't really matter, but... even so. even so, hadn't she already realised it? however foolish it is of her to feel this way, it does matter to her. hasn't she already accepted that she's going to hold onto Gen for as long as she can until he kicks her off the ledge himself? even if it doesn't make sense, even if it's not for her survival, even if she is only ever clinging to his sleeve like a child.
somehow, she has to explain herself to him. not to be forgiven, but at least so that she doesn't come off as arrogant. the silence stretches out a long way before Ruby is finally able to draw a breath and speak— ]
... I don't know what it is either. I just get sick for a little while, once or twice a year... [ no more details of the nature of her illness are necessary; Gen wouldn't be interested, anyway. Ruby leans her head against his collarbone, her dark expression safely tucked away beneath his sight. ] But when Father called a doctor for me, they said there was nothing wrong.
[ she had been fortunate, in Britannia, to catch a "real" sickness at the same time as her chronic pain. that's the only reason the Omertas' doctor bothered to treat her, she has no doubt. the next time, it would not have been so kindly received. ]
So... I didn't want to be called a liar again...