( x )

... What the hell is this? I didn't die. I'm still... Rudbeckia. I didn't get to rest, I didn't get to leave anything behind. My whole life just fell apart, and I have to— I have to go through this now? Some insane horror movie bullshit. Is this a fucking joke?

Why? Why does this always happen to me...? I know I deserve it. I know. I know, I know, so just let me die already and I'll rot in Hell. I'm begging you. No more.

I can't even be relieved that I'm away from Cesare. Ah... I don't want to do this again. I don't want to live like this anymore. I want to see Iske. He must already know, he'll hate me, he's going to kill me... That's fine. I won't try to avoid it any longer. Please. I just want to see him one more time. I should never have—

But I—

I'm still scared. I don't want to die... So what choice do I have? Just until I see Iske. Just until he puts me out of my misery... I have to keep going...