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( KENOS ) COMMUNION.

come on, wake up.	you have to be careful.
don't make mistakes.	you know how quickly kindness can turn into violence.

( CODE BY WHAMBAM )

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[ it's a sudden flurry of motion that comes to an abrupt halt with a better ending than it could have had, thanks to Gen's fast reflexes. but the fallout does not seem to settle as it should. once he has her safely secured, it comes into focus that the way that Rudbeckia is looking up at Gen is an expression he's seen on her before, when their relationship was something different. it's the intense fear of a child cowering before a raised hand, a beaten dog caught at the end of its chain. perhaps there is a second where he could think that it's an overreaction to his flare in temper, that this is just meek cowering because someone dared to yell at her – but it's when he says I'm calling someone that her hand latches onto his forearm in a claw-like grip, and she cries out, desperate: ]

No! [ that one word is the most she's ever raised her voice at Gen. the times he'd pushed her around, she had kept quiet as a mouse, even her pleas for mercy held in check by that obsequious politeness. but she just—she thinks of the way that Father would look at her. Are you unwell, my daughter? the outstretched hand that should have been gentle, the bruises it leaves behind. You're not lying, are you? ] —No, I'm not. Please don't tell anyone, I'm not sick at all. I-I just fell, I'm sorry, I'll get up. I don't need anything.

[ no one will ever believe her. she must remember that. just because her symptoms are clearer right now doesn't mean that anything will change. if she allows herself to be taken to a doctor, they won't find anything wrong with her, and she'll be nothing more than a nuisance overreacting to a little blood. even if they accept she's sick, they'll say that she should bear with it, that the pain can't be that bad. it's just her. and the next time it happens, there will be eye-rolling, complaints: why are you always like this? or they'll push her harder, the way Cesare used to, the way her family in her previous life did, because she's just lying and faking to get attention or pity or she's that lazy and she needs to be taught a lesson...

in a small, small voice— ]

I'll be good.

[ Indeed, Gen does promptly freeze when he hears Ruby's voice raise and feels the dig of fingers into his forearm. Not because it hurts, but because it's so out of line with Ruby's usual (annoyingly meek) demeanor. What, is this something she has to keep secret? Why the hell would she need to keep this secret? His brow is still furrowed deep in confusion, and Gen opens his mouth to give some brusque retort, but --

I'll be good.

(So that's what he's vaguely reminded of. The look in her eyes -- it reminds him of the way Yuko had flinched sometimes, back when he was much younger. Back before that problem was solved.)

Though Gen's expression remains scrunched dubiously, he ends up closing his mouth without saying anything, instead just giving a huffed exhale through his nose. And, after a moment's consideration with eyes narrowed and lips pressed together thinly, he deadpans. ]

Fine. I won't tell anyone. [ Pause. ] But if you're gonna lie to my face, do it properly. People don't just start bleeding out of the face for no reason.

[ Whatever's up with her has her badly shaken if she's saying something this stupid, he presumes. So -- what now? The easy answer is to tell her to fuck off back to wherever it is she stays so she can rest up and so he doesn't have to deal with it. But for how long? Even waiting another full day before getting Set's belongings back to him isn't an appealing option; less because he's afraid of whatever bullshit Set might pull, and more just because he wants to get this done and off his plate. So. ]

... don't squirm. Or scream. [ That very reassuring command is the only warning Ruby gets before Gen abruptly bends down so he can simply tuck one arm against the back of her knees to topple her over, catching her with his other arm in a scruffy princess carry. Not his preferred method of having to carry anything, but he's also not in the mood to deal with it if he tries to carry her luggage-style and has her puking blood from the pressure on her stomach, so a bridal carry it is. Gen grunts as he adjusts his grip, then lowers himself a bit -- so she can reach the bag on the table. ] Carry those. An' don't drop'em.

[ there's a startled squawk out of Rudbeckia as he scoops her up, but she seems to be somewhat accustomed to getting manhandled like this: she doesn't struggle or jerk away, gone pliant and leaning into Gen with what must be either trust that he will support her or resignation to whatever happens. the bag is retrieved from the table without protest, and she clutches it to herself with both hands, careful of the objects inside. even if he dropped her, she would have to protect this above all else.

it doesn't sit well with her that Gen isn't asking anything. of course, it makes sense that he wouldn't – she's sure that he doesn't particularly care about her wellbeing, and he certainly has no reason to be curious. she only worries that it will be an annoyance. because she did lie to him, and she's inconvenienced him. people have hated her for far less. to be honest, it shouldn't really matter, but... even so. even so, hadn't she already realised it? however foolish it is of her to feel this way, it does matter to her. hasn't she already accepted that she's going to hold onto Gen for as long as she can until he kicks her off the ledge himself? even if it doesn't make sense, even if it's not for her survival, even if she is only ever clinging to his sleeve like a child.

somehow, she has to explain herself to him. not to be forgiven, but at least so that she doesn't come off as arrogant. the silence stretches out a long way before Ruby is finally able to draw a breath and speak— ]

... I don't know what it is either. I just get sick for a little while, once or twice a year... [ no more details of the nature of her illness are necessary; Gen wouldn't be interested, anyway. Ruby leans her head against his collarbone, her dark expression safely tucked away beneath his sight. ] But when Father called a doctor for me, they said there was nothing wrong.

[ she had been fortunate, in Britannia, to catch a "real" sickness at the same time as her chronic pain. that's the only reason the Omertas' doctor bothered to treat her, she has no doubt. the next time, it would not have been so kindly received. ]

So... I didn't want to be called a liar again...

[ He waits for a moment to make sure Ruby has a good hold on the jars before carefully adjusting his hold on her -- gripping tighter, but not too tight, shifting the way her weight is distributed across his arms. And then he starts heading in the direction of the closest cornerstone. His boots thump steadily off the pavement below them, one foot in front of the other. A good few moments pass in that fashion, with Gen silently trudging along, expression fixed in his usual frown with brow lowered and lips pursed, before he speaks up. ]

I don't know shit about medical stuff. [ Probably unsurprising. ] And I don't get sick often. [ Probably also unsurprising. ] So it's not like I'm gonna know enough to call you a liar if you just say you got a nosebleed 'cause you're sick.

[ He wouldn't have doubted her, in other words. ]

Don't just say whatever lie first comes to mind, dumbass.

[ It would be a stretch and a half to say he's comforting her in any way. That's not his intention, and it's probably not the result he gets, either. But it's just that it's always annoyed him when people just go acting like they know him and make completely incorrect assumptions. He doesn't know who the hell it is that Ruby's previous had such shit experiences with, but they're not him, so he'd rather not be treated like them.

... still. He does get it, does understand why Ruby did something so stupid. Which is why Gen 'mercifully' ends his reprimand of her there, giving a small sigh as he rounds a corner (no doubt startling some poor passerby who definitely wasn't expecting to suddenly be faced by an enormous, sour-faced teen carrying a delicate little girl in his arms). ]

Whatever. Just don't lie to me like that again. [ And now that she'll hopefully just give him a goddamn straight answer: ] So are you dying, or is this like a cold where you can just sleep it off?

[ ... ahh. this is why she can't let go of him easily. even without Rudbeckia explaining herself, Gen understands, at least to some extent. that calm acceptance is like a salve, cool and refreshing, where saccharine words of comfort would have only left the wound to fester. kindness, love, compassion – none of those things can be relied upon, and all of them run out sooner or later, leaving behind only resentment. if someone understands her, then she wouldn't ask for anything more.

getting this attached to someone that couldn't give a damn whether she lives or dies—she really is such a pathetic fool. ]

Somewhere in between? It normally lasts for about a week. [ the tension unwinds from Ruby's body, and she relaxes against Gen with a sigh. only her tight grip on the bag remains, whether that's from a fear of dropping it or the same sign of white-knuckled pain that Gen noticed earlier. ] It's not that bad... Mostly the symptoms are just nausea and some pain.

[ some, she says. the physical agony is the worst part, but she can't shake the certainty that she would only be dismissed for trying to explain the severity of it, to anyone. just a stupid little girl whining about something that probably doesn't even hurt that much. besides, she can bear with it alone, so it isn't necessary to discuss. ]

I never used to pass out or bleed – that only started recently, so I wasn't expecting it again. I really thought there wouldn't be any problem.

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